The Problem with Bad Language

[HKHaugan]

You’re watching football on TV and the camera zooms in on an upset coach shouting at the refs over a bad call. You don’t hear him but you see his lips and they are obviously mouthing an angry string of curse words. You go to a movie and the ratings tell you ahead of time that the language is going to be questionable. You’re at a ballgame with your family and two rows down several people share their dissatisfaction with a burst of profanity. You go to pick up kids at school and a bunch of them are waiting for a bus. You can’t help but hear the same stuff as they banter back and forth. There is a proliferation of bad language in movies, on TV and in literature. What’s happening in our culture that causes this kind of behavior and what effect does it have?

Bad language is one of the curses plaguing mankind since who knows when. The Bible mentions it in many places so it must stretch way back into human history. The Third Commandment tells us not to take the name of the Lord God in vain (Ex.20:7) and not to let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths (Eph.4:29). “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving (Eph.5:4).”

OK, so why? Why is it bad?

I’d like to suggest several reasons.

First, you know it’s bad right down inside. As soon as you hear it you have an inner reaction. Argue all you want that it’s just part of life and a natural thing to do but down deep that little niggling part of your heart says no.

Second, we have to ask, “Just what does it accomplish? Why do we do it?” Very simply, it is an extension of our ego. We want to let others know that we feel strongly about something and, accompanied with anger, it always tells someone else how stupid they are and how brilliant we are.

Third, it is used to emphasize a point in a dramatic way in that, knowing it is bad, it carries all the power of letting others know how ‘bad’ I am and “I can be ‘badder’ along with the rest of you bad types.”

But what does it really accomplish?

Four things:
First, it actually is a superficial attempt to say “I’m one of you, I’m tough and I can handle anything.” By cursing you play into theory that bad language impresses people. Actually, it gains no more than shallow acceptance. It’s really a behavior that does the opposite of what you want. It reinforces one’s isolation from interpersonal communication. Once you start playing that game the more isolated you become. It’s all fake from there on. You’re playing a role that is not you. It’s acting and poorly at that.

Second, it’s sending this message, “This is the best way to communicate to get ego attention.” At the moment I curse I am telling others that my values are based on whatever it takes to belong, which really says I have no personal dignity, no personal self-confidence and no purpose in life. It’s not about what kind of person I am in the long run but who I can impress at the moment. A person who uses bad language is remembered not for the content of what they were trying to get across but remembered as a person who uses bad language.

Third, it tells the world around me that I am so frustrated with my life that the only way I can be somebody is through obscenity. Obscene language, obscene humor and obscene behavior single me out as someone with the ability to be my own person. That is exactly what happens. I am so much my own person that I am more alone, more frustrated and more angry. I surround myself with the same negative kind of people.

Fourth, and probably the most important, the coarser you become the less you find people trust you and all you are doing is reinforcing the same condition in others. Who you are and what makes you human becomes so far removed that you receive the fruit of all that effort, self-loathing, alienation and depression. You may be in a crowd of ‘friends’ who party and live on the surface but in reality it’s all a game and the real hangover is an empty heart in a sea of empty hearts.

As disciples we know that what causes all this clutching ego satisfaction is called sin and only a personal relationship with Jesus can make the difference. Bad language is a symptom not a cause. If you can spot ahead the devil’s purpose, to empty your heart and make you alone then you’re ahead. For parents and any in charge of youth it is important that the cultural quest for peer acceptance be exposed for what it is and does and be sensitive to their needs reaching out in love and concern for their future.

[HKHaugan]

Thanks Stephanie, The 'Oh my God' rattles my cage as well.  It is used so casually.  If someone does it around me I gently add, 'Namedropper.'

[Stephanie]

Yes we should be able express ourselves without cursing. To be honest the swearing does bother me as much as the use term " Oh My God " for everything. Watch TV especially the Reality based shows

it has become a catch phrase. Like Whatever, Who cares, Nothin, Whatsup