Wisdom 45 Attitude, Our Twilight Zone

[HKHaugan]

Wisdom 45 Attitude, Our Twilight Zone

 ‘That guy is just a plain jerk.’ ‘He doesn’t know his head from a hole in the ground.’ ‘Anybody in his right mind wouldn’t have said or done that.’ Ever offered one of those? What was the occasion? Was it a right observation? Was it accurate? Was it said to agree or get agreement or to look good or feel good and better than someone? Perhaps it was in the heat of the moment or a self-justifying reaction. The heart in all of us is quick to judge. I know it’s true for me. Attitude is the issue. It is a product of our need to be right to ourselves first and then others second.

 When it comes to attitude it is our heart that operates our mind. Just to emphasize how everything we do, including attitude, is motivated by what we can’t see, I want to survey how perception is a heart thing. That first impression, our immediate reaction, the stronghold that judges, these are the heart’s territory. It is a no-man’s land between the trenches of fear and pride where every moment calls for a choice and a decision. In one sense the heart is a ‘twilight zone’ where attitudinal strongholds are the antennae we have devised apart from God to handle the unknown in every next moment.

 I’ve compiled a list of over two hundred attitudinal strongholds. There are many, many more. There is no significant order in them. They just came to my mind and I put them down. I left out the obscene ones. These are only a beginning when it comes to proving that everything we think and do is motivated by what we can’t see. As you go through the list do you identify with any of them as part of your stronghold defenses, your judgment arsenal in meeting people? How do you see them? I know my immediate reactions fall in the stronghold category (2Cor.10:5). I also know the Lord has a way of dealing with our human approach. It’s a simple way. We’ll get to that in just a bit. But first, give these a look and be aware of our tendency to lace each with emotions like anger, sadness and fear. Again, each is a momentary attitudinal judgment call as we meet people.

 Gentle, brusque, dominating, superior, inferior, compassionate, egotistical, humble, loving, hateful, authoritarian, officious, timid, quiet, overbearing, haughty, funny, sarcastic, bombastic, real, fake, phony, conceited, brash, smart, dumb, impetuous, magnetic, charismatic, sophisticated, plain, simple, average, energetic, cautious, defensive, offensive, shy, savvy, aggressive, passive, pretentious, irritating, obnoxious, entertaining, deliberate, assertive, mysterious, apathetic, sympathetic, empathetic, self-contained, honest, personal, aloof, calm, effeminate, manly, athletic, loser, handsome, ugly, pathetic, careless, mindless, emotional, crybaby, sob sister, know-it-all, dainty, obtuse, character, intimidating, informed, debonair, withdrawn, brilliant, marvelous, attention-getter, deceitful, liar, crazy, cool, in, out, acceptable, unacceptable, flirt, exploiter, user, gamer, winsome, attractive, go-getter, fancy-pants, unique, terrible, terrifying, frightening, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, nutcase, dirty, clean-cut, adorable, sloppy, ingenuous, genuine, real-thing, what-you-see-is-what-you-get, greedy, slob, disturbing, appreciative, aware, in-your-face-guy, Pollyanna, cauterizing, addictive, alive, full-of-himself, indefinite, knowledgeable, attentive, tip-top, first class, top-of-the-line, antiquated, veteran, goal-oriented, inventive, impatient, patient, repetitive, lusty, lustful, intense, brutal, hatemonger, animal, tired, worn out, Anglophilic, famous, infamous, buddy, pal, soulmate, soulful, solitary, standoffish, artsy-craftsy, biased, dodgy, edgy, plays-it-close-to-the-chest, hidden, secretive, boring, sexy, anxious, over-anxious, anxiety-driven, aggravating, scaredy-cat, cowardly, curious, driven, drifter, slave-driver,, insatiable, hungry, perfectionist, obsessive, habitual, cheater, a natural, arrogant, pushy, submissive, subservient, Casper-milk-toast, introspective, arduous, exacting, ulterior, excessive, incorrigible, passionate, dilletante, ominous, well-spoken, verbose, wordy, withdrawn, immoral, moral, experienced, picky, professional, company-man, team-player, loyal, dependable, available, controversial, commendable, hardy, earthy, flamboyant, divisive, instigator, trouble-maker, sadistic, masochistic, tedious, exaggerator, nemesis, crafty, creepy, admirable, detestable, contemptible, grateful, ungrateful, gracious, caustic, impressive, contentious, alert, gutsy, good-old-boy, redneck, country, urbane, cityfied, judgmental, chameleon……..now add your own.

 If these are how we navigate judgmentally, they quickly become a quagmire, a quicksand, slowing us down relationally. We never get to know the persons behind the bodies sending signals, especially if we misread the signals. They could very well be strongholds behind which they like us, are hiding. We are both actually sending out troops to fight battles that have no substance or purpose and a potential relationship is the loser, meaning we both lose.

 Even if I’m right in my observation it’s what I do with it that points to my real need. That is someone I can trust to get me through the unseen reality of relational meeting. If I’m quick to judge it is usually a defensive move to look and feel right which is my stronghold. That exposes my real problem and our mutually given problem, sin. Sin gives birth to my defensive thought and behavior. I need a savior in the unseen not only occasionally but all the time. The risen Jesus is that Savior. He provides a way, a right way, a way to be right, as we move through relational minefields. Philippians 2:5-11 is the perfect passage to elevate any moment. He replaces all of our gyrating attitudes with one, His. He becomes our stronghold, our attitude, our strength for any moment.

 If my focus is Jesus several things will happen. First, I’ll see each person as an image of God. That means I’ll be quick to listen and slow to judge. Second, I’ll be aware I’m a sinner and have the same tendency to give an immediate judgment rathe than listen. I’ll pray for a quiet assessment of the reality of the moment and listen motivated by Jesus’ presence as though He is the One listening. Third, I’ll be sensitive to an opening and rely on the Holy Spirit for each next word. Obviously, you can’t process every next moment that way, but you can start your day while you are on the way with those ideas in mind. The Lord is always with you. It is the consciousness of His presence that makes the difference. With Jesus there is no more attitudinal ‘twilight zone’, no anxiety, nor worry and defensiveness is unnecessary. His attitude is His presence through the Holy Spirit. When He becomes our attitude, He gets the glory and we get the blessing.